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View Profile daiihai
[ mark | 15 | genderfluid | demi-bi | he/they ]
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knifes are sexy and minecraft is epic

Mark @daiihai

Age 15

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Philippines

Joined on 8/22/20

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istg

Posted by daiihai - December 1st, 2020


damn, i swear- i wanna wake up and not feel anxiety for once, it's been messing with me since like what-? i turned frickin 15? it fricking hurts, it really does, and i hate it so much. I wanna be able to wake up a good morning for once, bUT nOPE anxiety hits me up with its juicy words like.


"they're only talking to u bcuz they feel pity"

"they hate u, they just talk to u to pass free time"

"they're saying ur not a bother. But you are, they're just lying to u to make u feel better"

"they say they love u? they're lying"


i swear to god- its always th e same- it's one of the reasons why i dont hit up my friends- bcuz i'm scared of bothering them and they'd eventually leave me like everyone did, i forced myself to think its just a bunch of irrational crap, but my anxiety iS oFF the charts, every lil problem i get or feel, turns into a GiAnT aSS mESS i sweAr- i keep convincing myself that it's my fault that i'm annoying- and it mcfrickin hurts, i have to carry this giant ass anxiety feeling all day too, anD iT sUCKS oMG- sajnfkdnsj ty f or taking the time t o read my bs- ty for 63 fans btw- i appreciate it- <3 i'm s orry for the sudden v ent- i can't open up on any other social media.


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Comments (1)

Hey, I'm just a guy passing by but I wanted to say most people don't get to live without some form of anxiety or stress. It's common man and your not alone in that. It helps to find something to cope with those feelings which venting is good if that's your thing but personally I find it helps to look into relaxing habits like listening to some music or finding something to brighten up your mood for the day. I can sort of relate to that vibe with the friend's thing as I've been in a similar position but I find it helps to just not look to deep into it. If you find people who seem to care about you and are your friends then take their goodwill for what it is. If their willing to listen to you then take their word for it but don't always expect your friends to be in a position where they can listen to you vent. Sometimes they just have stuff on their mind or are also going through some stuff and as crazy as that sounds they might think they can't talk to you about it either. Anyway I feel like i'm overstepping myself as a stranger going by on the internet but one last thing I wanted to say is that you should work on building your self confidence some. Your not annoying your human and human beings are capable of being annoying sometimes. If it happens then so be it but don't worry about what freinds will stay or leave because you'll suseptable to losing friends whether you like it or not. Thats just out of your control you can't control what other people will think about you in the long run. Also it's human to have flaws in our character. What matters most is how you see those flaws and whether you let them determine who you are and how you go about your day. Anyway i'm out, I think I said too much but o well good luck to you either way about it.

thank u for taking the time to read this, i appreciate it sm <3
i've been currently trying to work on myself to not rely on people, and i think i'm doing okay ig, ive been getting constant anxiety attacks here and there, but overtime it slowly just disappears, so my anxiety is manageable. Again tysm for reading this <3